If you’ve recently started going out with a man who’s in the process of divorcing his wife, you need to be more sensitive to his moods, and this means not doing anything that might cause emotional instability. You must also be ready to understand what he’s going through. If you’re not sure what to expect when you’re in a date with a man who is in the final stage of divorce, here are some pointers for you.
1. Wait for the silver lining.
Dating this guy while he’s in the process of letting go means you have to wait for the emotional storms to pass. The thing is, he might not return to his normal self before the divorce is final, so expect the waiting time to be longer than you anticipated. What you need to do now is to work on your strength and nourish your love for him by staying optimistic that he will get over this phase with his emotions intact. Your patience will play a big role in his recovery. If he’s secure that you will be there for him no matter how many times he retreats to his shell, he will be able to cope with the loss of his marriage easily.
2. Accept that he still has feelings for his ex.
Remember, his marriage must have started well, but failed miserably in the end. A divorce might symbolize an ending to a dream, but it doesn’t mean the feelings are gone. He might still love his ex, but not strongly enough to keep the relationship going. If you accept this fact without much drama, he will feel more comfortable telling you about his feelings. Now is the time to be a friend to your guy. Do not judge him too harshly while he’s still dealing with confusing thoughts. Be particularly considerate when he’s missing his ex. Longing for someone‘s company is not always a sign of affection.
3. Don’t force him to commit too soon.
A rebound relationship is tricky. First, you have to deal with the fact that his self esteem is shot. He might not be thinking of commitment right now so you have to stay off the “let’s get married” road for now. For all you know, there may be hidden reasons why his marriage failed (i.e. his ex cheated on him), and while he’s not directly saying you might do the same, be intuitive enough to realize that he’s more cautious now about trusting a woman with his heart.
It’s not that he doesn’t trust you at all; he’s just more careful now about committing to someone. Again, your patience will determine how long you can wait for him to get over this phase. If you feel like he’s building an invisible wall to protect himself from the same pain, cut him some slack. Think about how you would feel if you’ve been cheated on to understand his feelings better.